19 December 2004


A crisp December afternoon. In an ideal world, we would be out for a brisk
walk on Hampstead Heath - no funny business in the bushes...a festive
evensong at our local C of E, followed by a quick sherry and mince pie in
the vicarage. Maybe another time.
We're stuck in our bunker, the fucking boiler is on the blink and we've all
got colds...and in my case, the remnants of a hangover. I was celebrating
the completion of my Christmas shopping and contemplating the happy faces
that will beam gratitude at me next Saturday morning. I've really purchased
a lot of crap this year. Puzzled faces is more likely.
This time next week, much will have changed. Our Lord's birthday will have
come and gone, a washed out memory, discarded for another year; left outside
in a wheelie bin.
I will be storming the charts with my just released record - you can help me
with this if you like. It works like this. You buy it. Simple. Your purchase
will not only bring you years of pleasure, it will help pay for a new boiler
- Rock'n'Roll Forever eh?
Oh, another thing - this is perhaps something that should be avoided...a
showbiz no no, but just between you and me, I will be forty on the 23rd
December. I might be doing my self a service here, as many of you probably
think I'm older. Anyway, I don't care, I'm not about to have a breakdown,
The last forty years have been one long breakdown...don't worry, I'm not on
the lookout for presents - however, if you did want to send me money, I do
have a paypal option...just a thought.
In future, I may change my mind and shave a few decades off by passport.
Never let the truth get in the way.
I am being badgered by worried friends and relatives, concerning any plans I
might have for some kind of celebration to mark this momentous occasion. I
haven't. Not yet. It's too late in the year, so most people have buggered
off out of London, leaving only cockney sparras and the seriously unhinged
to raise a glass. I think I'll wait until January before holding some kind
of grim soiree. If I decide that being in my fifth decade is not as
enjoyable as all that, I might have to remove this page from the blog and
deny I'm a day over thirty four.
I hope you're all getting ready to make that big 'Half Awake' purchase.
It's being pressed and printed as we speak at a sweatshop somewhere in the
nation. Elves have been seconded from Santa's workshop to cope with my last
minute order. The children of the world must wait. Elderly ladies doing
piecework will be lined up at trestle tables in council run twilight homes,
stapling the booklet together, and placing it lovingly into it's tray, as
gang masters swear and whip them to go faster..."Mr Moore is not to be kept
waiting". The 30p and hour they receive will keep them in Licorice Allsorts
until the new year at least.
So there we have it, Christmas cheer, broken boilers, my thirtieth birthday,
and Half Awake to give you food for thought.
Watch this site.


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