27 January 2005

Ava Maria

Have you heard of a programme called Nip and Tuck? You know, channel four slightly black comedy about plastic surgery. Well, these fuckers have stolen the name of my daughter. Yes, apparently there is a character called Ava Moore. How dare they. I am googling frantically, to trace some link between the writers and myself...Obviously I'll sue for millions - I'll probably discover that my mother is the executive producer or something. This - as any parent of rare yet tastefully named offspring knows, is a calamity. She's only three for christ sake. I didn't anticipate another run of Avas on the popular name list for years. Now, twatting channel four 'US alternative lifestyle intelligent types' will be calling their three wheel pushchair, fourwheel drive monsters Ava. It'll be the new Sophie or god forbid - Kylie...no nothing could be that bad. On the plus side, the actress who plays my daughter is quite lovely...I say that as a father foremost, but also as a man. Femke Jannsen is her name. Well, if her fans are as anal as the Mozquitos, she'll soon be getting wind of the gravity of her situation - as will the writers of Nip and Tuck. I is not 'appy. Watch what you write. Don't make me curse you. Show some respect, or the runaway train driven by a headless goat is coming to a tv awards ceremony near you.
My next children will be called Elsie Tanner, Ena Sharples and Stan Ogden. I defy anybody to use those names.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a 47 year old woman named Ava Marie Moore and just use Ava Moore.

I don’t like that the person on nip tuck was a man first lol

I would not be too concerned about too many Avas around. I have lived with that name since 1960 and being the only Ava was not as "special" as you think it will be. Kids don’t take to different too well as I remember. I suffered a lot in school because of my "strange name"

I am glad people are naming their kids Ava and hope more do so. I remain the only Ava I know :/

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

btw before nip/tuck the only Ava Moore I could find alive when I googled the name is a woman who races boats in Florida.

3:49 PM  
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