07 January 2005

Big Mouth Strikes Again

So it seems that my words have come back to haunt me...I've put my foot in
it and incurred the wrath of Mozzaphiles...yikes.
I haven't been subjected to such a torrent of abuse since this afternoon
when I walked past the fruit and veg stalls of the Goldborne Rd wearing a
Deerstalker. Apparently these delightful and conscientious skallywags took
exception to my description of SPM as having a face like a bag of
marshmallows, and a stomach held in by a girdle. WHERE IS THE OFFENCE IN
THAT? My own face resembles nothing so luxurious.
Don't you think that being long in the tooth and still prancing about is
even more faded music hall romantic. To cake on the grease paint, stick in
the dentures then wobble around in the spot light for a bit. Did anyone see
the New York Dolls recently? - fabulous and terrifying. God, it takes me
three hours to get my socks on.
I'm being self deprecating of course - people often ask me the secret of my
youthful complexion...afterbirth and whale semen are my tip. As Beryl Reed
would no doubt say if she met me in a graveyard " What a smooth skin you
have on you."
Any way, If we can keep this war of words going, we'll knock the Tsunami
off the front pages by Sunday.

Perhaps my website should challenge his website to a fight? They'd trample
us to death of course, but our corpses would spread disease.

Every Friday night from now on, I propose, we get a gang up on the site, get
lagered up, then attack another site. Doesn't have to be Morrissey, it
could be anybody. The Pope, the Queen, for no other reason than mischief. We
could call it 'You spilled my pint'. We'll have strategists, generals,
troops...any takers?
Anyhow, it's way past my bedtime...Goodnight.

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