05 January 2005

Nocturnal Emissions

Well, another night, another nocturnal emission, to stain the sheets of
decency.
Endured a moderate day thank you very much. Very little of note to report
except that I am getting stung for a new boiler...a fortune that could have
taken me across the world by aeroplane, clothed me in finely tailored cloth
or put organic vegetables on the dining table for several months. Being
grown up means sacrificing one's pleasure for the good of loved ones -
pleasure enough to see their rosy faces, happy in the knowledge that they
are warm, washed and pleasant on the olfactory organs.
I'd like to thank the many people who have purchased 'Half Awake', and put
this picture in to your minds. Your generosity will go some way towards
paying for my family's heat and hot water. As you listen to the songs of
damaged life and distant beauty, you are permitted a brief imaginary glimpse
of our modest little bathroom, and the grateful little family happily
abluting in the steam. Nothing sordid of course, just a peek through the
shower curtain into our lives - in a non Norman Bates way of course.

I don't know if it's the done thing, to encourage criminal activity in a
blog, or to solicit illegally acquired goods, but if there are any of you
out there reading this, of a generous, and slightly illegal disposition, and
you happen to live close to a boiler shop - perhaps your father runs the
town hardware store and is snoring upstairs...well, if you could see your
way clear to nicking a combination condenser boiler, no questions will be
asked and eternal gratitude will be assured...I shall be in the market for a
new car at some stage...in fact, why not dispense with trying to flog the
odd record and set my self and this site up as the first modern virtual
Dickensian fence site...oh fuck it, I forgot that ebay has beaten me to it.

So there you are, I'll just have to sell more records. There are a few left
I think..I read in a book about marketing that this is the kind of thing
you're supposed to say...create panic buying. Well, it's me who'll be doing
the panicking if you don't do the buying. I know David Bowie sells his
records through the net, but I think he must have a bigger shed than
me..they take up quite a bit of space you know.
I'd like to reassure potential customers of course, that my rapidly
diminishing stock of 'Half Awake' is kept in a temperature controlled (
extremely temperature controlled until the new boiler arrives) environment,
guarded around the clock by savage dogs, ancient curses and machine gun
toting child soldiers.

I am going to say goodnight now. The ice is forming.

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