27 February 2005

Nuclear Winter Wonderland

So the sun begins to set on what has been a lovely and successful day here at the Germ Organization. The Sunday Times have been particularly kind with their appraisal of my work, and the site has had it's busiest day since opening. Unlike the unruly mobs who rioted at the recent new Ikea opening, our customers - clients if you like, have behaved impeccably, some queing for up to seven hours, and our regulars have shown themselves equal to the task of presenting a first rate impression. I thank you all. Our coffers are swollen. It's a good job that the money's in the safe which is time locked until tomorrow, because with my spirits elevated as they are, I run the risk of blowing it all on a Sunday night binge at the Kilburn Bingo parlour. A lot of highrollers have lost their shirts in that place.
Anyway, we're not closed yet. Much as I disapprove of Sunday trading, the Germ Organization is pragmatic and mercenary enough to refrain from making a moral stand at this time. No, we're open around the clock, pay minimum wage and our pension scheme consists of a holiday villa which I alone enjoy the use of.
Sorry, dreaming slightly. Spent a pleasant day driving through the villages and hamlets of West Berkshire, in search of I don't know what precisely...a tumble down rectory for sale by an elderly lady with no concern for market value...on top of a hill, with a ghost, near a lake, with easy access to the M4, a country pub with a lock in, and a young lady's Finishing School nearby. Failed miserably again. Also failed to find Teletubby land, much to the consternation of Ava. We drove over the hills and far away of course, so she assumed we'd spot them grazing in a field somewhere.
I must say, Aldermaston is a great place. Very sinister, in an Avengers kind of way. The Atomic Weapons Research Establishment - once the destination of thousands marching from London, has a real demonic power to it. As you drive through idyllic countryside, you suddenly come upon it. It's vast. It's dirty windowless concrete towers really do look like they're cooking up death. Barbed wire perimeter fencing and scalding pipework make you wonder what the hell's going on below ground. If this is the nice bit, what's the rest like. The village is old and pretty, probably inhabited by scientists, who suddenly develop personality disorders, alarming colleagues, and the ministry of defence, and are discovered to have been possessed by occult forces in order to steal the bomb.
Also went swimming. The pool was quite busy today unfortunately - mostly, one family, who were using most of the pool as their personal water volleyball court. Didn't look up close, but I think the swimming costumes might have been burberry.
I'm going to appear on the wireless tomorrow from 4.30 until 6. Resonance FM. Don't know the frequency, but I'm told there is one. I shall also be busy, packing records for immediate dispatch to the post office. I might have to employ extra staff.
It's teatime now, so have a pleasant evening.


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