11 February 2005

Rape Rabbit Rape Rabbit Rape Rape Rape

As I mentioned earlier, I have to look after the nursery school rabbits - Lollipop and Lenny. Anybody got any tips? Lenny is rather placid, and keeps being raped by Lollipop. I don't like to interfere in the course of nature, but I think some behavioural psychology might be in order. I don't think that Lenny enjoys being repeatedly sodomised ....oh god, where are the Morrissey chatroom boys when you need them for a bit of advice? I'm tempted to go over to their place, and throw myself on their mercy - I know Belton would be a mine of information on Lapisexualis. Look, Beltie, if you're peeking in, I need you. No hard feelings - I've got a real problem here. Ava keeps asking what they're doing - I tell her it's prison behaviour...when you've spent that much time in captivity, gender becomes less important.
I'm not meaning to come over all Buju Banton here - a delicious image nonetheless, but I don't think it aint natural -god he din create de man rabbit to lie wid de buck. Na man, a buck rabbit is spose to lie wid a woman rabbit innit. 'Boom Bye Bye in a batty rabbit head' so they say in the dancehalls of Jamaica, and Kilburn. I gonna put a bible in de hutch...an some Henry Miller books...De Rabbit of Capricon.
Poor little Lenny can't defend himself. He just trembles as Lollipop mounts his hind quarters and gyrates. I know this scene repeats itself nightly throughout the land, both in prison and in the prisons of our own imagination, but, these are nursery school rabbits for god sake. Bunnies...not category A nonse wing superheros.
If there is a rabbit psychologist amounst you, I beseech you to come forward. How would you like to be Lollipop's prison bitch?

7 Comments:

Anonymous Melissa W said...

I have the same issues.
I bought a new rabbit to go with the 3 months old male I already had. The store guy says, "Let me feel it's genitals- yes, it is female." I assume, by touch there's not much room for error, but maybe I was being presumptuous? I let the rabbits mingle about 3 hours, then put them into their den (cage). I go out to smoke and when I return, my much smaller male is being raped at a rate of 2000 MPH. I reach in, grab the little guy on the bottom, and feel that his behind is very very wet and, wait that doesn't really smell like piss...
So, do female rabbits rape smaller males, or do male rabbits rape smaller males?

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