24 March 2005

Germ Agents - All Leave Cancelled

I am in wine, so be warned.
Just thought I should put on record, my delight at being a citizen of this fabulous nation.
It's really beginning to dawn on me now, how fantastic it is that a royal wedding is about to take place in a registry office. Say's it all. The perfect polaroid of our nation. I think that a Germ event must be organized to run in tandem with it. I propose that operatives of the Germ Organization, gather in Windsor on the day for some kind of celebration. Not sure what, not sure how, but I feel this may be a defining event in our nation's endgame...quite apart from the general election - in which I intend to stand ( donations for a deposit greatly appreciated)
As a young man, I attended the wedding of Charles and Diana - well, I came to london with my pal Tim, and we slept on the pavement outsode Clarence house. Having witnessed the then lady Di leaving in her glass carriage for that date with destiny, we headed into a very empty Soho, and a porno cinema, only too happy to admit some very young fellows...King kong und Die liebe Frau (as immortalised by the Shoreditch Ogre) was the film we watched, while the rest of the nation watched the wedding. Which was the most pornographic? Answers on a kleenex please.
Anyway, I've recently become friendly with Aaron Barschak - the Osama Bin Laden of Windsor Castle - a wonderful man...lives right round the corner. Perhaps he's already busy on the day, covering it for CNN. Anyway, I feel mischief in the air. A picnic perhaps...Any suggestions. we must not miss this.
I will lie down now and smoke a pipe. This thought must be given time to form. If somebody could let me know the date of the wedding, that would be helpful.
By the way, MI5 are hiring. If you want someone to write you a reference...

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