27 April 2005

Dowager's Hump

I'm dying. Or at least it feels that way. Aching bones, knotted muscles and the beginnings of a Dowager's Hump. Well perhaps the last malady is a slight exaggeration, but really, I am knackered. I think I might have over done things slightly at the weekend, and exhausted my fragile constitution.

The gig was a hoot - quite a riotous affair, butI could have left at a respectable time and been tucked up in bed before the witching hour...Could have, didn't. And there were witches, wizards, demons and goblins...and potions and powders. Now I am sneezing, coughing, and in a state of inertia, rare even by my standards. It's only my super human bravery that enables these pained fingers to dance acros the keyboard.
I should be resting, but alas, I am forced to seek my living in the fetid environment of work. I dont mean to moan, but really...this is no way to exist. I should have been out on the tiles tonight, doing something marginally less boring, but even this little cul-de-sac of temporary boredom relief has been snatched by the brutal iron fist of nursery school.

Tomorrow morning, I have been asked to accompany the junior demons to a drama and dancing workshop. My task is to see to it that they don't fall off the kerb into the path of articulated lorries or get taken by lions, then return them to nursery in one piece. Can you imagine what this would be like with a hangover? I can barely prevent myself from falling off the pavement at the best of times - I'm often overcome with an urge to dive into the road and finish things off anyway. Will I be required to act as a human shield, should one of Kilburn's famous drive-by shootings occur, or does the last in first out rule apply?
I really ought to withdraw Ava from this irresponsible school,an institution that would trust someboby like me with the roadsafety of their infants. It's almost scandalous. Don't they realise that I am a rock'n'roll legend, a degenerate artist and all round bad man? Bugger it, they don't.
Yo bitch - fetch my slippers.


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