15 April 2005

Something for the Weekend?

Twenty minutes to six o'clock on the dreariest Friday in living memory. For somebody who fell asleep at about 8.30 last night and woke at 8.00., I am feeling extremely fatigued. I expect I have a life threatening disease - that'll be it. I'm on my last legs, and buckling like a BSE heiffer.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not angling for sympathy - I embrace death - give it two thumbs up. Reap me baby...
A bit of a selfish attitude considering I have dependents, but as Joe Orton said, a father can't be expected to be around for ever - being there for the conception is about right'. Still I'm modern and decent. I wouldn't throw myself under a bus, that would be cheating. I might deliberately walk close to the pavement's edge, so the blame could be shared....possibly wearing my slipperiest shoes on an icy day.
How many other office workers across the land are contemplating suicide at this precise moment. Most of them I should think. And don't worry - all my legions of fans, admirers and lovers - the only thing I am killing is time. Twelve minutes now before I jump from my desk, remove my clothes, and run naked into the streets. This was intended metaphorically, but you never know, perhaps it won't be.


Blogger the urban fox said...

I thought Friday morning was the most popular time for office worker suicide. Monday morning would surely be a better time though; why bother working almost the whole week first? Hmm.

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't work on Mondays or Thursdays, so am almost able to cope with the rest of the week. Friday afternoons are the ones that drag to the point of making me wish for death.

11:49 AM  

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