17 May 2005

Happy Clappy

Good morning Germ Operatives. It seems that the government are now stealing ideas directly out of my head. Not sure how they're achieving it, but achieving it they are. The new govenrment clamp down on hooded sweat shirt/baseball cap wearing youth, is a direct copy of my recent " Smarten Yourself Up Johnny" campaign - part of Aesthetic Jihad. I am now awaiting the call from Whitehall to come and be the new government Tsar on bad behaviour. Not only would young offenders be required to wear uniforms whilst performing community service; these uniforms would be designed by Jean Paul Gaultier and the torture garden. Good rubber bondage gear, complete with chains, whips, and devices to restrict the breathing.
Not that I am a middle age pervert/reactionary or anything....be quite funny though.
Well, my good luck has not quite ground to a halt yet. In fact, my weekend of financial advancement, was capped by winning the Lottery. Sadly, a mere tenner, but better than being burnt alive. If things continue, I'll be struck down with that ridiculous illness, that ridiculous man Dave Stewart claimed to have - good fortune syndrome, or whatever it was called. Bring it on baby, that's what I say. Let lady luck pass on her itchy infection...what's a bit of a scratch compared to a lifetime of penury.
Riddle me with the gonhorrea of glee, the sypillis of sunshine. Happy Clappy.

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