13 May 2005

London Living and The London Poor

I have today, tasted poverty. Not the kind that leads to Bob Geldof launching Moore Aid, but a bitter taste of something none the less.
Accustomed as I am to being overdrawn, and spending above my means, I am not accustomed to having my cash card spat back at me like some unpleasant object inserted into the mouth of a nun. I thought the economy ran on idiots like me, constantly in the red and playing keep up.
I decided to visit the good folks down at the bank to set matters straight. Remembering that I had increased my overdaft to meet the onslaught of parasites gnawing into my fortune, I felt somewhat agrieved at having my line of credit withdrawn.
Well the good news is, that the bank fucked up. "Yes sir, we can see it on the system. Unfortunately it's on the back computer, not the front one".
No remedy until Monday...that's that. To compound the misery, my credit card is malfunctioning - this is not even a euphemism. The pins locked or something. Its...well that would be telling, but anyway...most inconvenient if it's not sorted out today. Short rations for the weekend.
I made a good fuss, demanded satisfaction, apologies and obedience. Then I felt like a bully, so apologised for being grumpy. The poor girl had badly bleached hair, rigid with lacquer, and a worn out nylon blazer..., I think she was Polish, which made me think of concentration camps...and naked bodies obviously. It was rather early in the day to be a camp commandant, so I attempted a bit of levity.
I left the bank like an old friend...feeling her stare of hatred scorching holes in my back.
In the meantime, sales of Half Awake go from strength to strength ( this is of course a subtle ruse to convince banks to lend me more money by the way). Royalties are due at some stage soon....not soon enough of course.
I am seriosly considering vanishing from society and becoming an underground urban commando - righting societies wrongs. A latter day Robin Hood. I might have a problem with redistributing wealth to the poor however. I am the poor.

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