09 August 2005

Apologies to Beelzebub

In a piece of rank hypochrisy, I shall be renouncing the Devil and all his works this Sunday. I hope the horned one understands and doesn't get offended. I have been asked to be the Godfather for young Henry JOHN Hodgkinson, and his christening is this Sunday. Obviously, I am delighted and honoured to be asked - even though it's taken three children before finally getting to me - mustn't quibble of course...it's a privaledge,and a responsibility I shall accept with relish.
I look forward to giving him his first beer, fags, advice about ladies and driving lessons; and should the unthinkable happen, and his parents expire in an organic vegetable or Arga accident, I shall bring him up as my own, and share my table with the little lad. I've looked into chimney sweeping apprenticeships, and there's plenty of employment for orphans these days.
Anyway, back to this service - I'm not too pleased about renouncing Satan...it seems like such a pity - we've been good friends over the years. Of course I will have my fingers crossed and desecrate the altar somehow. I will carry a picture of Aleister Crowley down my boxer shorts and will no doubt slaughter a lamb and deflower a virgin during the weekend to make up for it.
It's not that I don't believe in God - actually I don't...well I might a bit - this is not the right place for theological self doubt. I will believe in God, if, and it's a big IF - Ava gets a place at a decent C of E primary school. I need to witness a miracle and time is running out.
Also, I have to purchase a present that Henry will cherish forever - which will probably cost a few quid. Something silver. A roll of tinfoil is not an option. Any burglars reading this, who might have some shiny items to offload, do get in touch.
I've got a lot on at the moment - I don't mean clothing wise...things going on. Up and down to Yorkshire, Devon, Reading on family business. I've been asked to do the soundtrack for a short film,
as well - and, I think it's time to start making a new record. I had a burst of songwriting the other night...chanelling the spirits, or whatever it's supposed to be. I am eager to record these songs as I feel that there could be some loot in it....oh, and artistic fulfillment - whatever that is.
I don't think I'll put the next record out myself - unless forced to by total lack of alternatives.
Should any record, publishing or managerial moguls be reading this, come on. Don't look a gifthorse in the mouth. As of Sunday, I'll have God on my side.

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