05 October 2006

Are You Being Served?

I told you this blog was going political...that's right - cutting to the chase.Well my first great political observation is that Boris Johnson is the posh John Prescott. You heard it here first - I hope.
Secondly, my friend has started working at Marks and Spencers, and it is a hot bed of Islamic fundamentalism - which might come as something of a surprise to Mr Marx and Spencer. My dear friend is of Persian extraction, although the last time she fell to her knees to face Mecca was when she was being sick outside the Bingo Parlour on Holloway Rd. Well as anybody familiar with the empty Goldborne Rd knows, it's Ramadan at the moment...that's right, the big one. Well my dear friend is getting no end of hassle from the dawn til dusk fasters for not being a proper Muslim, dissin' da religion, and not being a good example. In fact, it's all a bit creepy. She thinks they might honour kill her in the lingerie section.
Now I'm no expert in Al Queda plots, but I would not be at all surprised if every M and S in the world blows up on the same day. Marks and Spencer is being used as a training camp ....All this is pure conjecture of course, but if I were the security services I'd investigate - plant a mole perhaps - although not in the food department where I believe moles might create a scare among the folk who lunch....I was going to say secretaries, but that would be sexist, and this blog is far too sophisticated to fall victim to such accusations.
Just to paint an even brighter picture of London's shop floor life, did you know that it is common for people to urinate in the changing rooms. Also to try on clothes and urinate in them then hand them back to the staff. Could this be an anti semitic thing? I think it might. Do incontinent people make a habit of trying on trousers at M and S, pissing and leaving? If so, I believe that they should be incorporated into the new advertising campaign. Rather than Erin O'Conner and Twiggy parading round in the latest couture, get a couple of Golden Shower models to do the business. And the food adverts? They are the ones I really hate ' This isn't just a Creme Brulee...it's an Marks and Spencers Creme Brulee and it's been pissed on'. The shareholders need to know.
On another matter, Sid and Nancy is on the telly. I'm in it. See if you can spot me. I'm one of the little boys pogoing and spitting. I got paid sixty quid, with which I bought leather trousers - and within two weeks, was in the Jesus and Mary Chain. Life's a complicated thing.


Blogger Neil Scott said...


7:22 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Enter your e-mail address to receive occasional updates