13 November 2006

Plenty More Fish in the Sea

I believe it was Frank Sinatra who said that he felt sorry for people who didn’t drink, because waking up in the morning was the best they would feel all day.
Monday, London, lunchtime, dressing gown, headache, self-loathing, thoughts of malice towards Old Blue Eyes. It’s not that I’ve sunk into some Bukowskian netherworld – it’s just that I’ve over-indulged, overslept, inappropriately texted and generally worked towards making myself a less impressive being in the eyes of the world. On the plus side, I didn’t smoke any cigs…I forgot that. Did I mention that I’ve given up? Everyone’s doing it - It’s the new smoking. And like most things preceded by ‘new’, you can still do it occasionally and claim that you don’t.
So despair has turned to triumph – I might look like a wreck but I smell pristine. And…here’s another excuse – Sunday night is actually my Friday night. Weekends are usually taken with driving my daughter out to my mother’s, early nights and excruciatingly early mornings, going swimming, appealing to my daughter not to be so scatological – at least in front of Nanny, and generally being bitten, scratched and kicked. If it wasn’t for the fact that Nanny gets up with the lark, and spends some quality Grandmother Granddaughter time with Ava, these weekly excursions could finish me off.

Talking of scratching; this weekend, we took the cat with us. She’s still a kitten actually, and can’t be left home alone for two days. Anyway, Ava decided to let her out of her basket on the way home. I would advise anybody in a similar situation to maintain feline incarceration while mobile, no matter how much it pleads to be released and promises to curl up quietly on the back seat – this is merely a ploy. I imagine that driving on the M4 with a cat on one’s head might be a contravention of the road traffic act – most things are…he said morphing into Jeremy Clarkson. Still, this was the first car journey in ages where I haven’t witnessed major carnage.

The search for a third Mrs Moore is not proving successful. It appears that the ecologists are spot on – there are NOT plenty more fish in the sea. Over fishing has depleted stocks, now even the humble cod is a delicacy. To continue this maritime metaphor, I imagine dark dangerous deepwater creatures with spines and spikes and prehistoric teeth, lurking on the seabed, devouring any poor sap who happens by. If this sounds sexist or fish-ist I apologise.

On a musical front, I am sawing with Haines again this week, as his never-ending tour hits the drive home-able counties. Once again - apologies to the North, but the prospect of sharing a bed in a Travel Lodge with Britain’s most misanthropic man was too much to bear - especially in light of the preceding paragraph.
I’m getting up now. I think I might go to the pet shop and buy a goldfish.


Anonymous Roger said...

Just to add some excitement, how about playing a chainsaw in Oxford tonight !!

John, if you read this before you leave for the gig, please can you post the approx time that you and the Haines plan to take the stage.

8:37 AM  
Blogger John Moore said...

I think about 9.30 would be a good time to be there. Doors at 7.30 two supports...don't blame me if I'm completely wrong though.

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

Thanks John

I'll try to say hello in person if I get the chance.

However, I don't plan on getting too close to Luke for fear of catching whatever bug lead to yeasterday's cancellation.

2:42 PM  
Blogger John Moore said...

Oh thanks, I've got to sit next to the diseased old git for hours.

4:32 PM  
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