15 November 2006

Wheezing Spires and Broken Bows

I have just returned from a long walk down the hill to the music shop, and am feeling much better for it. Autumn is at its most glorious, and if my colour palette vocabulary was not so limited, I’d extol the beauties of sienna, burnt umber, flaming orange, claret and palest yellow. Well whatever, London streets with trees in are very pretty at this time of year. A slight irony perhaps, but the streets with the most planet hating four by fours, also seem to contain the most beautiful trees. Lets hope the roots are clawing at the foundations, making them structurally unsound and un-saleable, thus bringing financial ruin to the owners, forcing them to flee the city and live in mud huts in the Cotswolds. There’s nothing so self-righteous as a man whose just had a walk…yes, I did say walk.

Anyway, the reason for this excursion was to purchase a new bow to play the saw with. I’m not naming names here, but a certain clumsy great brute with a moustache, sat on my old one in the dressing room last night and snapped it. Whether this was his way of telling me that my sawing services were no longer required, or a simple accident remains to be seen. Anyway, I’ve got a new one, which I shall be debuting at Dingwalls tomorrow night.

Our gig in the city of dreaming spires was great fun, especially as Haines was near delirious with flu and said some particularly dubious things – even by his standards, which even his most ardent fans almost took exception to. Let’s hope that he’s rested by tomorrow, or the London audience is in for a particularly strange night. Luckily the Royal Free is close by, so if we are physically assaulted, it’s only a short ambulance ride to safety.

Talking of hospitals, I visited the Radcliffe Infirmary before the show last night. This was not in my capacity as a pop star or goodwill ambassador. My dear brother-in-law has just had a major operation necessitated by years of smoking a certain French rolling tobacco…He’s well on the mend thank goodness, but certainly not looking his best. Without sounding too morbid, I am afraid that we are getting to the age where things are catching up with us, and the health warnings are coming true. This giving up smoking business is extremely difficult, even when face to face with the evidence. I have to admit that my first port of call on leaving the hospital was the nearest pub for a pint and…a cig. Utterly, despicably stupid I know, but they don’t call them Musician’s Walking Sticks for nothing. As John Lennon said of Sir Walter Raleigh ‘ he was such a stupid Get’


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Anonymous Roger said...

Wow John, you're getting really popular with the spammers !!

Anyhow, it was good to catch up with you in Oxford. I like the way that you're gradually expanding your role by adding poetry reading to the saw playing.

Maybe you should have joint billing from now on. Tell you what, if you and Luke could find a female singer, maybe you could form a band !?!?!

Luke's illness seemed to make the miserable old bugger even more cantankerous than normal. However, that wasn't really a bad thing.

Good luck with the new bow at the London gig.

PS - are any of the gigs being recorded

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Roger said...

How come there was no "sawman" appearance with Luke on BBC 6 Music today ?

I did however manage to get you a name check with a question about Tuesday's bow breakage.

12:00 PM  
Blogger John Moore said...

Cheers Roger,
I don't think the gigs are being recorded - unless the Metropolitan Police are monitering, with a view to later prosecution.

I am thinking of changing my name to
Spam Filters - what do you reckon?

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

I think that "The Spam Filters" would be a great name for your next musical project

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

How come the broken bow hasn't appeared on eBay yet ?

I'm sure that such an important artifact in the history of music would fetch a tidy sum.

After all, how many musical items can claim to have been played by John Moore and sat upon by Luke Haines ?

Maybe you're waiting for the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland to contact you first. Or could it be that the British Museum are interested ?

Failing that, I'll give you a fiver for it !!

PS - good job Luke never sat on the saw, else he could have sung Sarah's vocal parts from now on !!

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